Thursday, November 10, 2016

The real deal about breastfeeding

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed. I felt like I knew all the benefits that breastfeeding had for baby and for me. I didn't really know too many people who didn't breastfeed and I didn't really understand why people couldn't or wouldn't breastfeed.....now I totally do. 

When I thought about the idea of breastfeeding when I was pregnant I envisioned this magical moment of bonding between me and my baby. I envisioned a convienant and cheap way (hello free!) to feed my baby. I envisioned pumping and having pumped breastmilk so my husband or a sitter could feed my baby. I even thought it would be great to have enough to sell my breastmilk(before you think its weird, look it up, you can get a lot of money for it).  I envisioned having no problems breastfeeding. 

But....

I realized quickly that Breastfeeding is hard!!

This was something moms would tell me when I was pregnant but I never understood why. I had, what I though was  a pretty good education about breastfeeding from nursing school, my own research and a prenatal class I attended.  BUT there was so much I just didn't know! 

What I thought about breastfeeding before I ever breastfed: 
-It doesn't hurt
-Every mother can do it if they desire to 
-Its natural and its healthy
-If it does hurt that means there is a bad latch and you just gently take the baby off and try again
-There can be some pain in conditions like mastitis, clogged ducts, and engorgement; also you can have some pain early on so apply nipple cream and or your own breastmilk
-Leaking can occur so wear nursing pads
-Pumping is a great way to provide a bottle for your baby so you can rest 

These were things I was taught and learned from professionals. Most all of this is true...kinda, but there is so much more I learned these past 6 months of breastfeeding my baby. 

I could write so much about this topic (and have been trying to write this post for months now) because I really was the most surprised by how difficult breastfeeding was and how little I knew about it. Even though I was "informed" about breastfeeding I really had no clue. 

I will just share just a couple things of what I have learned and hopefully it can validate those who have breastfed and help manage expectations of those who desire to. And to the brave men reading this hopefully this will educate you to treat the breastfeeding women in your life like queens. 

1. Breastfeeding does not hurt*
*Except for when you first start to breastfeed and your nipples get chapped, can crack and bleed and you feel like your nipples are on fire and everything remotely close to you hurts. Or when you experience engorged breasts, plugged ducts, mastitis or a yeast infection in your breast(s). Or when your child has a bad latch even if you do everything correctly to latch them on right and "simply taking them off and trying again" only frustrates the baby and mom even more and makes for a terrible awful feed where you are both in tears. Or when your child decides to arch his back and yank his head back still attached to you. Or when your child bites you. Or when your your letdown reflex is painful. Or when your child cluster feeds and you are sore from overuse. Or when you get a milk bleb and it feels like shards of glass overtime your baby latches on....more symptoms might occur not listed. 
When Breastfeeding hurts it hurts bad. At the beginning its 8-12 times a day you are feeding your baby breastmilk so if you have an issue that causes pain you have it 8-12 times a day. So thats fun. 

2. There is often no "quick fix" when it comes to breastfeeding issues and the issues are not always obvious. 
"It could be this...", "Try this for a week or two and if it does not help call me" (Which would leave you 8-12 times a day in pain but trying to see if this recommendation would help), "Huh, I don't know". All things said to me by the experts. I just wanted a quick fix. I just wanted it to be easier. I just wanted an epidural again for my breastfeeding pain. But alas there was none. 

3. Know what is normal!
So there will always be a Suzy-milks-a-lot out there who pumps 10oz every morning and afternoon and makes you feel like you have a super low milk supply. I felt like my supply was low when I could only pump 2-1/2 oz MAX of milk because my baby would drink 3-31/2 oz when he drank breastmilk from a bottle.Which would mean I had to pump twice to get a bottle, which for me meant waking up early in the am and pumping when I had the most supply.  I talked to multiple lactation consultants and they said that was normal to need to pump multiple times for 1 bottle and that baby can always get more than the pump can. Know what is normal: like it is normal for baby to lose weight after they are born just talk to doc about what is too much, it is normal for your mature milk to not come in till on average 3-5 days after baby born, it can be normal for baby to be fussy while feeding (talk to  a specialist to rule out any issues but sometimes baby is just fussy). Also it can be normal for a newborn to take 20-40 minutes to breastfeed! This was a shocker to me as my little guy took 45 minutes EACH time he breastfed for the first 2 and half months. I tried everything to speed him up but eventually I just surrendered to it. Now he is older and more efficient so it does not take as long but at first it was really hard for me to feel like I could do anything other than feed my baby. Oh and they tell you to feed your baby every 2 hours at first but it starts from the time you started your feed so when little guy ate for 45 minutes that left me only 1hr and 15 minutes between each feed to sleep, eat, bathroom, live life. And this is NORMAL!?!? Yep. 

4. Breastfeeding doesn't mean you will lose all your pregnancy weight without trying!
Yes its true you burn more calories while you breastfeed but you also are more hungry and hormonally you crave sugar! I envisioned pounds just shedding off me- but alas they seem to stick around. 

5. Time heals!
This is my least favorite advice. But it is true. It may not be true that it gets better exactly at 6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, or whatever time frame people what to rubber stamp to say its better now. I just wanted to know when it would get better. Currently at 6 months breastfeeding is the best it has ever been but it is still difficult at times for me. 

These were things that actually helped me with my breastfeeding issues


1.  Change up the position!
Laid back and side-lying position were game changers when I actually tried them when I was really sore. laid back position video (note: these videos show actual people breastfeeding) After I tried it I ditched the nursing pillow because I realized it was not actually helping me get in the best position for me and baby. Also side-lying position is so nice in the middle of the night to just stay in bed and roll over to my side. (I couldn't do this position well until my little guy had better neck control). I never really did get very good at laid back position, felt like we had to be more coordinated for it but it was helpful to attempt it. 

2. Get help! 
A friend, a breastfeeding center, a lactation consultant, a doctor, a midwife...whoever it is just get help! I talked to them all! I saw about 4 lactation consultants and was on the phone with one at least once a week for a solid month. I went to a La Leche League meeting in my city for free and it was VERY helpful. The woman leading the discussion is a lactation consultant and gave me free advice and watched me breastfeed and then emailed me several videos and tips. She sent me the laid back position video and this good latch video to help me. I also talked to a lot of my mom friends, especially my mom friends who are newer moms too that could be emotional support to me as well in this time. Because sorry older moms sometimes you forget what it was like to be in the trenches. 

3. Motivation!
When I was at the worst of my pain my husband and I made a sticker chart and every time I had a "difficult feed" (baby really fussy or just really painful) I got a sticker on my chart then after 10 stickers I would get to draw from a jar a paper with a prize on it (milk shake, $5 accessory, nail color change...ect). I know it sounds so childish but it gave me motivation to help me continue. I also watched a favorite netflix series to keep my mind off the pain. Whatever will help you feel motivated to continue because it literally feels like forever and like it will never get better. 

4. Extra Strength Ibuprofen!
That 600 mg of Ibuprofen they give you after you deliver.... I used it mostly for breastfeeding pain. Didn't remove it but it did dull the pain! 

5. Prayer!
It got me through the hardest parts when I just wanted to quit and when I felt so frustrated with the whole situation. I had many people pray for me too. Breastfeeding issues were way more than just a physical thing for me (and a lot of women I talk to), I needed emotional and spiritual help to get through it. 

6. Wool Nursing Pads
Like these are amazing. I tried multiple nursing pads but these were the best they are super soft, helped heal soreness and I love that I don't have to wash them after every use or throw them away. 
I ordered a pair online and the sizing was very different than what I thought. So this "blanket" to the right was returned for a smaller size but before I returned it I had to take a picture of myself with it to show that it was bigger than my face. 

7. Nipple protection!
nursing shells are really helpful especially the first couple of days when anything touching you hurts, but I was told to not use them too long because it can be too moist of an environment and yeast can grow and turn into an infection. Lanolin nipple cream- they give you in the hospital usually is a great barrier to protect you from chapped/cracked nipples but if you have an infection it prevents it from healing. It is great however to use before showering if showering is painful (it was for me). Coconut oil- has a lot of great healing properties! Your own breastmilk- can't get any more natural than that and great for healing and preventing chapped/cracked nipples!  These soothing gel pads were amazing the first couple days of breastfeeding- they provided lots of comfort. (pack them in your go bag!) You need a prescription for this one but they call it All Purpose Nipple Ointment aka magic cream it has antibacterial, steroid, pain reliever and some other things I think too it it basically to help multiple issues you can have with breastfeeding (because remember breastfeeding issues are not always clear) BUT you can only use for 2 weeks because the steroid can actually thin your skin and prevent healing.

8. AIR!
Yes. Airing out the girls is really helpful for healing soreness and can prevent and treat yeast infections from occurring in the breast(s)

9. Take a break!
Give baby a bottle of pumped breast milk or formula and give your body a rest even if it is just 4 hours.

10. Surrender!
Letting go and surrendering my expectations about breastfeeding and surrendering to reality has helped. Surrender is often something thats not just a one time thing. 

It has gotten "easier" over the past 2 months and I realize it will probably never will be what I envisioned it to be but I sure have learned a lot through it! 

This post doesn't contain as many funny pictures because there just isn't many. I did find this one which I think is very accurate. 








The only memes and pictures I found were about people complaining about breastfeeding shaming and the fight against using a breastfeeding cover. I don't have anything to say about either of these issues that is worth blogging about. I just wish there was more talk about the difficulties of breastfeeding instead. 

So with all the difficulties I had why did I continue to do it? .....I don't know. There were many times I called breastfeeding "stupid" and said "I hated it". I am honestly  not sure if it was worth all the pain, stress, and hardship I put myself and husband through and at times doubt my choice of continuing to exclusively breastfeed. I felt pressure to just feed my baby formula instead. Maybe it would have been better. I won't know for sure. I know many people can have many strong opinions on this topic and I am not here to get into a debate about that but more so share my journey and prayerfully my journey can be helpful. 

As I mentioned in my first blog Being a new mom is hard between bad latches, fussy feeds, mastitis, plugged ducts, low milk supply, over supply, strong letdown, slow letdown, engorgement, yeast infections, lip tie, tounge tie, vasospams, reflux, milk blebs, nipple wounds, and probably many other things I don't know about.... breastfeeding can be super hard! 

With all that said .....
I love being able to breastfeed my baby. I love the closeness it brings to us. I love how sometimes he looks up at me and stares into my eyes while he eats. I love how he tells me he is hungry by snuggling into my chest. I love how his eyes sometimes roll up and it just looks like he is drinking the best thing ever. I love the ease of feeding him without having to go make something. I am amazed by how God created women to be able to breastfeed! 

So I hope this post does not scare you away from breastfeeding and hopefully you will have none of the issues I had or others had with breastfeeding. Breastfeeding it is hard but it is also really great but if you can't or choose not to I just wanna say loud and clear there is no shame because it is not for everyone! I believe that sometimes breastfeeding really is not the best choice for everyone but you are the best choice of a mom for your baby.